So I recently transferred to a local college. Decided dorm life and the price of the college was not for me. In order to transfer over all of my credits, I worked really hard to maintain above a C+ in former college. I managed to pull all B's and a C and my credits transferred over. I am now at a four year school that I commute to and love it. Made a bunch of friends and love everything about the college. I currently have taken 12 credits instead of 14 but am considered a full time student. The college is much cheaper since and I have received a scholarship based on my high school grades. However, I have not worked as hard as I did in my last semester at my last school in the mindset that I am home now and I can relax since my grades have transferred over. Don't get me wrong, I worked really hard in my new school but not my full potential. Furthermore, I have not received such great classes which are Philosophy and Macro Economics but I know I could do better. Sadly, for my first class I received a D and my mom flipped calling me names and such throwing things, threatening telling me I am a loser. The next day all was fine then I received a C in my strong area IT 1001 she flipped even more. She cooled down the next day and today she is at work. Just found out I have an F in Sociology. I have done all of the work in the class and participated but have winged the tests and refused to get help since just wanted to hang out with friends and go home which prevented me to do well. Also, most papers that were do I did at last minute which was wrong. I will not be receiving my Philosophy grade since my teacher does not have access to the grading service since he is new but I know its bad. My mother tends to flip allot over things like this which mother have the right to but she goes to the extreme. She yells, calls me names, says I should drop out of the college and work at McDonald's, she hits me and threatens to tell all people around her that I am a loser. She acts like this around a bunch of people but seems to vent her anger around me. She has threatened to call my teachers and ask for my grades everyday and make sure I get help and if I don't she will break my stuff saying if its in her house she owns it even if I bought it and make me buy new things. She tends to go overboard but I still understand where she has been coming from. Put it this way, when I get bad test grades I tend to shred the tests and only show her good ones to avoid situations like this. I have tried to tell her how I feel and I will do better but she has been the way her whole life. Now that I got an F I don't know what to do, I am just hoping that she does not force me to go on Web adviser to show her my last grade. Most of the things she says is out of anger and the threats she makes don't happen but sometimes they do. I know most students have problems their first year even my own cousins had similar situations and one had such a bad year he had to do an extra year at college but now is a supervisor at OEM. My mom is a perfectionist and says nasty things that can hurt my self esteem even though everyone knows she is wont at times. But I love my mother when she is happy with me and I told her I will get the help and will do better but that's after she saw only two bad grades the C and D. Furthermore, since she is my mom, saying all those things even after I have told her how I feel, she keeps doing this when things like this happen. It only hurts my self-esteem since all these nasty things are coming from her and knowing that she is my mother, saying it over and over again can have an impact on me which it has in the past. Sorry for the rant but what should I do, my plan is to do much better later this year especially since I have to have a 3.0 gpa average in order to keep my scholarship. How do I handle my mother if she finds makes me show her my last grade I don't want things broken and to get hit again with nasty words. Please no rude comments. Thanks|||Tell her to do the work and see how well she does!! But seriously, we all get one semester (it's an expensive lesson too) where we mess up royally because we want to party and hang out with friends. But the reality is you are an adult now and you should not continue to need your mom to yell at you to do better in school. You need to bring up your grades and start studying harder on your own without your mom throwing a tantrum. Tell her in a very adult voice that her yelling hurts you and you will do your best the next semester. You are living in her house and that is a very privileged thing and of course she still feels like she can have her say in your matters. If you continue to mess up, you could be out on your butt and having to work and pay for rent and food and then the partying really comes to an end. Actually when I had to work 2 jobs and go to school, my grades were so good because I had to schedule everything and plan it out and had NO time for friends or partying, so maybe that's what you should do. You need to work your butt off, move out and then she can't say anything to you to bring you down any more. EDIT: And sometimes this is how parents think they can motivate their kids, but a lot of times we don't perceive it as motivation, but as hurtful and rude and soul crushing. But you've got to buckle down and do better!!|||You're an adult, so if you really wanted to, you could call the cops on her for assault. That's your mother, so I would reccomend sitting her down and having a serious talk with her. Tell her how what she says makes you feel. If she wants to yell at you, let her get out what she needs to say. But, then you need to tell her how her word choice affects and remind her what kind of stress your own academic situation puts on you. I think counseling would help wonderfully, but that does cost a lot of money.|||I know you love your mother, but there comes a point where you need to stand up for yourself. I went through some of the same things. It is hard but you need to do what is best for your health. Do not let her have that type of impact on you. Her words mean nothing. When you take tests and gets Ds and Fs on them, it is only to show you what you know and basically telling you to work harder. You shouldn't be getting in trouble for it though. I'm sorry for what you're going through and I hope it gets better :)

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