When I was 3 my mom used to take me to Florida. She would try to get me to learn how to swim so she threw me into the ocean. Luckily my father jumped in and saved me most of the time. But then he drowned when he was saving me. When I turned 5 I wanted to learn how to play the guitar. So my mom said, "First you must learn to BE a guitar." Then she went to a music museum and tied me to a guitar statue for hours. She got arrested for months and I was forced to be put into a foster home filled with fancy gangsters in tuxedos. Finally, when I turned 8, my uncle adopted me after my mom was killed by explosives while she was in the army. We celebrated. A few days later though my uncle started treating me like a slave and whipped me when I didn't do what he said. When I was ten he got tired of me and tied me into a raft and I survived for 6 days on a bagel and a waterbottle. A couple of elderly people finally discovered me and took me as their child. I didn't know where I was but it had a lot of gangs. I met my first friend there named Billy. We hung out alot but suddenly he was taken hostage by a gang member because Billy stepped on the gangster's toe. I watched him get mutilated, his eye gashed, and his body incinerated on a live video chat. For thirty more years I lived through minor disasters and lived by working in McDonalds. Finally I graduated on a scholarship. Then I visited the graveyard, and my father and mother came back to life. When I told my mom what happened throughout my childhood, she got scared, and said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Belair." I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said FRESH and there was dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought naw, forget it, yo home to Bel-Air. I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I said to the cabby, "Yo home, smell ya later!" I looked at my kingdom I was finally there... to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air. Isn't my life the worst?|||Thanks for making me laugh. I really needed that, after the teribble day I had.|||If your Telling your life story or any one else's for that matter it seems as if you started writing a book and just wrote the first Chapter. Get a Publisher or get a Chillaxitive.|||To much drama! Chill dude!|||I somehow knew there would be a belair tied in there!|||haha i really hope this is a joke cause this made me crack up

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