Upon moving into the International House at my university this semester, I met a young Masters student from Norway. I had never met a Scandinavian before and, sadly, tend to romanticize things way too much (particularly foreign men). We spent a good part of the Welcome Week discussing all manner of topics...and then I was in his room one night, one thing led to another, and we slept together. I told him I wanted to wait and warned him beforehand that I get emotionally attached but he pushed and I gave in. Afterwards, we cuddled and he starts talking about how I should let him know if our relationship is moving too fast or too slow and that he never wants to hurt me or our friendship. Then, we sleep together again. The next day, he tells me that he wants no commitment and has never, in fact, had a relationship because he likes to 'keep his options open' Mind you, this guy is 27. I asked him if this was due to a tragic experience in the past or perhaps he has not found the right woman--he said that nothing triggered it, it is just how he is. He has traveled all over Russia, sleeping with who knows what and says that most girls there are just gold diggers...okay, my father is a physician; I have no use for this guy's money. Unfortunately, rejection only makes my lust stronger and so, we continued hooking up semi-periodically for the next month (he lives across the hall from me). Then, one day after I sent him a suggestive text message, he messages me on Facebook and says that we should stop 'being lovers' because I am becoming emotionally attached. He said that 'he simply does not want a sexual or romantic relationship with me, just like he doesn't want one with 99.9% of the people he meets, and it just took him a bit to figure it out in our case.' I think the real issue was that, as he is big on 'spontaneity', any time I try to schedule a hook-up, he finds it mundane and expected (in the beginning, he had suggested that we meet every week, but men change their mind faster than you can blink). I then explained to him that any attraction I had to him was purely physical (this was actually true). So a month later, we encounter each other in the hall at 1 am and he invites me in...and we end up at it again...I asked him why, as he'd said he didn't want to be lovers anymore and he just said that he was 'still attracted to me'. We slept together one time after that, but in retrospect, I allowed him to contact me after he told me we should stop seeing each other, I let him come to me. Still, I feel rotten because every time we were together, he would not reciprocate certain pleasure acts I'd perform (even though he told me he does perform them on some women), and he had a fascination with anal play...something just felt creepy but I was not fully satisfied unless we were together. Every session, I was feeling less and less respect until I finally broke it off last week, and stated that I heard him speaking with a girl in his room and this did not bother me as much as it once would have (I am a possessive partner). I then informed him that I may be finally able to 'stop wasting my time on him', as he put it. At first, I didn't understand why he would keep contacting me if he wanted me 'off his tail', so to speak. I am aware that I allowed myself to be used...but i suppose that I was also using him to some extent. This is a guy with whom I cannot have a normal conversation...only debates or the receiving end of his criticism. He also informed me that he does not answer when his parents call him from home because they call at the same hour every day and that he finds this 'mundane'. I realize that he has little emotional capacity, but I am just wondering if anyone else has met a similar type of character? I can honestly say that he is the oddest I have yet encountered... P.s. Kudos if you managed to read this entire passage. : )|||My ex was like this guy. Except he had the gift of gab so somehow everything managed to have a positive spin to it. Seriously the guy is a douche and needs to get off his high horse. Seriously no one cares about how many women his been with or what he finds "mundane". His so typically atypical its a joke. His clearly playing into the whole "foreign guy experience". If he truly is like the guy he pretends to be then he wouldn't have contacted you again after he said he was done with you. I hope your done with him and never give him the time of day again. You deserve so much better than what that *** hole would ever dream of giving you.|||Yeeeaahh, it definitely sounds like he has problems. It sucks that you got so mixed up with him, but shiznit just seems to happen that way I guess. Hopefully this is just a stage (early mid-life crisis maybe?) and he'll get over it someday. From reading that he sleeps around a lot, I just hope y'all used protection so that you don't catch anything.|||Thanks, I read the entire passage. Whilst I have not been in this situation, I know the kind of person you're talking about. It's a European thing, trust me. I was born in Europe and lived there for the first few years of my life, until I was 4, when I moved to Australia. I have lived here ever since but I go home for 8 weeks at the end of every year. Because I've lived in Australia, when I go to Europe I notice the difference with the guys there. A lot of them are exactly the way you've described. Especially Scandanavians. I don't know why, but all of the Scandanavians I have ever met have been like that. They seem cold, distant and unemotional. I have also encountered a lot of Dutch guys who are like this. So I guess it's localized within Northern and North-Western Europe. Those guys are really weird and a lot of them are extremely perverted and have a really dark sense of humor. Idk I even see it on youtube. But what can you do? Some people are just weird.

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